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“Does this make me look fat?” “I’m having a bad hair day, aren’t I?” “Do you notice anything different about me?” These are just a few of the questions that make men want to run for the hills and hide. They know for a fact that answering them could possibly endanger their very existence. Skillfully answered, they could end up the hero. Give the wrong reply and it’s the dog house.

Why do we, as women, do it? Are we unsure of the answer or are we fishing? Do we need someone else’s opinion or can we ascertain the truth by looking in the mirror ourselves? Are these questions even that relevant? What if we altered the questions we most often ask to sound more like “Am I exhibiting self-control in my life?” “When you see me, do I exude joy?” “Is it obvious that I have Christ living inside me?”

Aren’t these the things that we should really be concerned about? In fact, why are we here? Is it to win a beauty contest or to win souls? Why do we get wrapped up in the importance the world places on the outward appearance when we should be focusing on the inward? Or, to state it a little differently, let me ask, “are you an Innie or an Outie?”

Most of you may be thinking, I focus on both and that is okay. We certainly don’t want to go about sharing the joy of the Lord with someone when we forgot to brush our teeth and put on deodorant. However, we don’t have to have every hair in place to greet someone at the store or share a kind word with those whose paths we cross. How many times, ladies, have we avoided someone or scooted down the next aisle because we ventured out unpresentable thinking we wouldn’t see anyone.

How many divine appointments have we missed because we just didn’t want someone to see us “looking that way”?

So strike a balance. It is important to be well groomed, but put things in perspective. Check your heart before you check your lipstick. I have developed the belief that God allows people to see me the way that He wants me to be seen. He has given us His Holy Spirit to live inside of us and when we allow Christ to have control, the beauty that is seen is His. Amazing when you think about it—the God of the universe making us His temple!

Let’s all be more concerned with the condition of our heart, the warmth of our smile, the kindness in our words, and the willingness to help those in need than the impression we make with our physical appearance. Ask any woman who has lived into her senior years…time marches on and it shows! No matter how many creams, cosmetic procedures, or units of Botox someone may utilize, eventually age will get the better of you. But a beautiful spirit developed from a Christ -like heart—that my friends, will reveal the very best of you.

What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. 

I Peter 3:3-4 The Message